things not what you thought they were? [OPEN]

[lily marie evans]

One year, five months, sixteen days, one year, five months, sixteen days,
one year, five months, sixteen days, one year, five months, sixteen days...

Every day she counted since then, the worst day of her school year and perhaps her own life. One year, five months, sixteen days, twenty hours... How did she remember it so well?

"Oi, Snivellus!"Her head shot up, those words triggering her to snap out of the conversation she'd been having, to look away from her friends instantaneously.

"Snape!"

She looked between her friend and the approaching Gryffindors warily, pulling her feet out of the cool water. She stood, drawing her wand, feeling something was up. They didn't talk to Severus unless they wanted to torment him, she knew that.

"Stop it, Potter!" she cried, not caring that she was drawing attention to herself in doing so. Her face drew back in shock as they pulled Severus up into the air and...

What the hell was wrong with them!?

"Leave him alone!" she roared, her normally sweet voice contorted with rage. She quickly pushed them aside as soon as they let him down, reaching down a hand to help him up, when the inexplicable happened. He called her that...word. As she stared at the boy who seemed intent on staring at the ground, she felt the color drain from her face as shock settled into every part of her being.

She slammed her book shut with a loud thump, earning her unappreciative glares from the students nearby. She rolled her eyes and blew them off, far too preoccupied by her misery to care about them. She wasn't sure what part of that day was worse than the rest: she lost her only true friend, she had everything she trusted and believed about the world turned upside down, and realized that everyone in her House would be telling her 'I told you so' for the rest of her life in one horrific crash and burn.

She did a good job of not letting it show at school, she supposed, because she was able to focus on schoolwork and her Prefect duties. Although she still had friends in the Gryffindor Tower, she felt more alone than she'd ever had. Severus' word had completely rocked her world, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever find her footing again. She was so bitter towards him, refusing to give him a chance even to explain herself. And over the summers while her loneliness and anger festered, fed by Petunia's mockings, ('Where's your little freak friend? Finally scare him away like everyone else?'), she wasn't even sure what angered her anymore. Her mind became a swirling mess of heartache and anger, and by the time she came back to school she was a ticking time bomb of emotion.


And when she arrived at school, things did not become easier. Her friends said many things about Severus 'choosing his side' and how the two 'Marauders' ought to be forgiven for what they'd done to him because they changed. It was even more confusing now, trying to comprehend the nuances, the factors, the nails in the coffin, everything that came up to create the final product. Was James really a decent guy and Severus awful? When she didn't need her world perspective twisted anymore, it was. And when she thought she'd be tortured enough, the guilt set in. Who was she to continue judging them? Any scars left by their bullying would be for them and Severus to sort out, not her. Her place was knocking them down when they attack him: they hadn't. Maybe Potter was a decent guy after all, or at least becoming one.

Suddenly she wondered what she might have assumed about Severus and wept bitterly. He wasn't only her best friend: he was someone who had no one but her. She realized that she'd always known how bad his family life was and how hard it was for him to have a good day at school, free of taunting or torment. She didn't know the weight on his shoulders. Who was she to assume he was lying? She was a saint to those around her, but in the span of a few hours she realized she was a narrow-minded, judgmental, hypocrite.

Lily stared down at the book she held in her lap, releasing a ragged sigh. She wanted nothing more than to sink into a fake reality and pretend her inner turmoil was the fantasy for just a little bit. But it wasn't working, not even her surefire method of escape. She looked up and pressed her fingers to her temple. It was time to accept defeat. She needed to do something. But what?

She stood, smoothing down her pajama pants and fixing her hair, stalling. She knew there were few places Severus would be found, yet somehow she couldn't pull herself to it. Maybe another day..maybe another day. 'Coward.'

She left the Gryffindor Common Room with her book clutched in her arm, making a beeline to one of her own haunts: the Astronomy Tower. At night it was something of a breeding ground for unsavory acts, but during the day it was a quiet, beautiful place of solace.

One year, five months, sixteen days, twenty hours...

Lily sat at the edge of the open archway and gazed down at the grounds, legs curled up to her chest. The air was cool and the sky was beautiful: she only wished she was in a better state to enjoy it. By now she figured she'd have moved on, but apparently that boy's friendship meant more to her than she'd let herself believe. How had she missed that all along?

[draco abraxas malfoy]

There was an answer for everything. For each and every reaction that had to have been elements that had combined to create the end results. That was fact. No, more than just fact, that was logic. Draco had always considered himself to be a logical person, and so unlike other people in his situation (if there actually were any of course), he did not allow himself to fall into the realms of panic and do anything as foolish as, say, making a fool out of himself. To other people, those who were meant to be in this time and none others so far, he was simply a transfer student. There was no sign, on the outside, of any emotional turmoil at all. His father would have responded with such a look of scorn that his heart would have done that rather irritating little cracking open thing, that painful thing, if he had done so.

Of course, that was not to say that he wasn’t feeling more than a little turmoil beneath the surface, but no one was interested in emotions in his experience and that was also another reason not to allow them to the surface for all to see. There was no point. It wasn’t exactly going to get him anywhere, was it? But it was there, and the intelligent part of his mind was able to watch the smaller portion as it panicked, and squash it down into nothing before anything unwanted could occur. For though there had to be a logical answer to this, and a solution or at least an explanation, that thought didn’t bring as much comfort to the blonde heir as it truly should have done. For the simple reason that he did not know what that logical explanation could possibly be.

So far he had come up with the theory that this was just a test; a challenge set by the Dark Lord. But he had never heard of such things before, and time travel was an awfully hard piece of magic for anyone to do (though the Dark Lord may just escape the parameters for that as well) especially when wasted on the son of a follower who had failed him.

The Master’s words, not his own. Draco, if he had the option, wouldn’t even have called him Master. Despite all of the stories of pure blood supremacy and of his families loyalty to their leader, he didn’t actually think that grovelling in the dirt and calling some other figure with that name was something that a Malfoy should do. He’d never voiced his own angry thoughts on the matter, of course. He rather liked his own head to remain on his shoulders, and after what he had seen the summer before this had happened, speaking out of term may just cease that lovely conjoined existence. That, again, was logic.

Sometimes, though he loved it, he also detested that. Logic also stated that due to the fact that he was here and not where he should be, the delicate form of his mother would be the one to come under the painful punishments that he had been receiving for his father’s incarceration in the wizarding prison. Such a thought sent another of those painful chest movements through him and made him pause and grab ahold of the banister of the stairs he had been walking up while thinking. No one liked to think of their mother in peril.

Even if she did actually share the same common room as him now.

He wasn’t entirely sure how to react to that in a manner that would continue to be calm, and so had simply resorting to attempting to avoid any confrontations with any members of his own house. His hair, manners and simple pride hadn’t exactly allowed himself to choose any other name than ‘Malfoy’ either, and knowing Slytherin’s, questions that he really did not wish to think of answers for would be addressed to him should he remain amongst them too long (rather than just, as they were currently, being whispered in groups behind his back). In actual fact, the Malfoy heir had been avoiding everyone. He felt too vulnerable with the solid presences of Crabbe and Goyle protecting him from either side. Vulnerability was not a trait that he actually knew how to handle.

But it lead to why he was here, clutching at his chest while standing on the curving stairs that lead up to the Astronomy tower. Avoidance. An irritating pastime but one that he would allow to dwell in when it was required. Like now. Besides, in past experiences when the dungeons had become claustrophobic, he had always found his mind had worked better when he had been alone at the top of the tower. Any feeling that could be remotely considered alike to flying instantly sent an aura of calmness around him. Unless something untold was going on at the same time, of course (like this entire situation, but it was a last resort to find somewhere to think and perhaps allow the panic to reach the surface just for a moment, so he wasn’t going to turn it down).

He straitened up, brushing off his aristocratic and expensive clothing (all he had now, for the Malfoy money wasn’t his here, was it? He didn’t wish to think of that however) before continuing on his journey. An period of time spent alone would be welcome. And even if other people did come up after him, the astronomy tower was easy to defend, was it not? (The details on how exactly someone of his breeding knew that were not ones he wished to dwell on that much). But he footsteps faltered on their climb as he caught sight of someone else already there. A girl, from what he could see. He stopped, hand on the railing, and blinked for a moment in surprise because that had not been in his carefully thought out plans. Ideas of how to proceed flashed before his eyes, ranging from knocking her from her seat to retreating back down the steps before she could notice his presence, but there were too many and the panic that he refused to allow room for in his eyes or manners was not making the act of consideration much easier.

He probably looked a bit of a fool, standing there and just looking at her. If only his mind had been in a state to process that. He may have even flushed.

[lily marie evans]

She heard him before she saw him, mainly because she didn't bother to turn around until he was already at the top of the steps and had walked a few feet into the classroom. She glanced over, conscious of where her wand was, but still appearing very melancholy and muted, turning about where she sat so that her back was against the wall and her face was in his direction. Malfoy on any day was not a person to be toyed with, at least in the way of who you kept your back to.

"Ah, Lucius, I see you've cut your hair. No longer interested in looking like the effeminate fairy of the school?" she asked coolly, finding her sarcastic streak still well in tact despite her deep range of emotional distress. Unlike Malfoy, who seemed to be covering up and internalizing something, she didn't care to not wear her heart on her sleeve, at least when she was alone. Although she supposed that's why he had come here.

She quirked a brow as pink colored the boy's cheeks, wondering exactly what had become of the person who would have, under normal circumstances, readily hexed her into oblivion, or at any rate reminded her how filthy she was. Then again, she supposed these were not normal circumstances. Still, she couldn't resist gritting her teeth at his presence. Her mind was so wrapped up in her old friend and her failings with him that she could not separate Malfoy's presence from it.

"So," she continued icily, her gaze set and hard, "what exactly did you do to Severus?" She bet her question would seem random to the teen, for she had not spoken to Sev in nearly a year and a half, but his impressions of her didn't matter. She knew very well that Lucius was always the corrupter, the 'ring leader' if you preferred the term if Voldemort's little circus in Hogwarts. If anyone was to blame for anything Severus did or planned on doing wrong, it was him.

[draco abraxas malfoy]

Severus? Severus Snape? This girl knew Severus Snape? More to the point, his father had done something to Severus Snape? That didn’t make any sense. Draco was the other wizard’s godson – his father was close to him. Her words just didn't make sense, and he wasn't that fond of things not making sense. He was attempting to make logic out of this madness, and a girl saying a few words which somehow managed to make him questions his plans, that was not welcome.

“What on earth does Severus have to do with you?” he sneered instantly, “Doesn’t he have something of an allergy to those of disgusting red hair?” But then he actually recognising what she had said before that. He was responding to her backwards, perhaps... but time was hardly a relevant factor for him now, was it?

Lucius. While his father’s name had often been used in conversation with Draco, usually by others commenting on how alike he looked to the Malfoy patriarch at his age, he had never actually been mistaken for him before. That would have been impossible, he was sure, if reality was still the right way around and his father was still the long haired regal man that Draco respected, and not just a fellow teenager. Which... he must. And here. Why else would a random little girl choose to call him such a name if he wasn’t? He wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it, truth be told. It made him pale a little, and blink a few more times.

But then the words she had spoken in addition to that name, and the tone of the voice she had said them in, they reached his conscious mind. When that happened his eyes narrowed instantly. While he wasn’t Lucius, the name was still being shared between them in this time and she was insulting it. Which meant that she was insulting his family and no matter how skewed the world was, that was not on.

“I hate to be the one to burst your little bubble of insulting me, girl, but you have me confused for someone else,” he said coldly, drawing himself up and losing the slightly gormless look he had previously held without much effort on his part. He had more important emotions to focus on now, for which he was thankful. Anger, mostly. Anger was a welcome emotion for the most part. It was better than confusion and fear, at least. Logic could quite easily be ignored. “However I’m sure that ‘effeminate fairy’ would be very pleased to hear your opinion of him, don’t you?”

Perhaps he should have maintained the facade of pretending to be his father though, and pretended to be Lucius for more than he had (not that he had at all, come to think of it). Just to figure out what she was talking about, of course. But if news of that got back to his common room, the whole plan of keeping a low profile and watching his parents from afar would be blown to the four winds. He wouldn’t allow that to happen.

[lily marie evans]

Lily rolled her eyes. Of course he was trying to avoid the subject, of course. He'd always try to worm his way out of taking any responsibility for his negative influence on anyone or anything. She felt nausea rise in her, as well as anger. He could have easily called her a 'mudblood', as he always did, and illicited less of a reaction. But to bring Severus up, to bring up any cause for him to hate her even more than she felt he did, more than she deserved, struck a nerve she didn't know was even there to be struck.

"Apparently, but that's not the point. Quit trying to evade it." She clenched her fists. Severus always tried to justify being around people like Malfoy because they 'protected' him: hardly. He was still attacked in the halls, treated like something that got stuck on the bottom of one's shoe, and they did nothing but...corrupt him. Perhaps that was the only word to describe it: corruption. And she left him there, perhaps at his moment of greatest need. Maybe it was herself she should have been accusing...

She raised her eyebrows. "Do I now? You certainly look like the pompous little slimeball." She doubted if she were in any other mood she'd be so harsh with her words, especially not with someone who knew more harmful magic than she did. But her nerves were already grated down, and some parts of her sensible nature were tuned off for a time. She sighed when she realized that he was, as he'd said, indeed not Lucius Malfoy, but wasn't ready to apologise for her error just yet. "Oh, I'm sure he would. Not that he doesn't already know," she said, shrugging off what she supposed was meant to be a threat. "So then," she said, standing and approaching him slowly, "who are you then?" She nearly offered 'one of the transfer students?', but then he would have evaded her question: left it at that. She wanted names. After all, she was the Head Girl and that sort of information, knowing who was in her school and around her fellow students, mattered greatly to her.

[draco abraxas malfoy]

“What do you think gives you the right to speak to me like that?”

Draco didn’t even have to think before he uttered those words. They rang through his mind and had done since she had first decided to open her fat gob. Her tone had been insulting and her words far less than pleasant, but what was really irritating what the fact that she knew he was a Malfoy. Admittedly, not the one she expected, but their name was shared (and would have to be explained by a use of the line ‘a distant relation’ or something) and no one should ever speak to Malfoy’s like that.

No one ever did. Except the rotten to the core freaks who had inhabited the tower of Gryffindor in his time. People like Potter and the Weasel clan and the mudblood Granger. But... with the word Potter, something else that had been tickling the back of his mind came to the forefront. She was looking at him, and looking at him meant that her eyes were visible and Draco knew that green.

He had spent far too many dares exchanging death glares with the carbon copy of them.

Potter’s mother. Well, seeing as his mother was here, and evidently his father as well if the name exchange implied anything, then it would be logical to suggest that the parents of others were here. That only added to the sense of hell that this place inspired, however. Dealing with Potter was bad enough. At least he wasn’t here. As... far as he was aware, at least.

“I’d watch my ton if I were you, you filthy little mudblood,” he said, curling his lip into a sneer. She was a mudblood. Dumbledore was obviously in charge here, and he knew that Potter had a mudblood in his heritage. Everyone with any interest in genology knew that. It was common knowledge. Voicing it wasn’t planned and wasn’t elegant, however. But she was irritating him, and being irritated did not work well with the whole ‘being nice’ scenario.

“You might find yourself getting into a little bit more trouble than your fancy words can claw your way out of. Now how about you just run along and leave this little place of supposed ‘peace’ to people who are actually attempting to respect that and not throwing insults at the first random person to walk up these stairs behind them, hm?”

[james ignotus potter]

James was awake this morning. Unfortunately it wasn't the reason he wanted to be awake. Tossing and turning for the time being. There were new students, who were these mysterious people. A couple nights after Remus had transformed, had it so James couldn't sleep anymore. The brisky morning breeze was calling to James, it was like a longing he couldn't stop. He needed to be free and feel the wind in his hair. The hair that was already askewed on his head. He got up, grabbing for a quick change of clothes. A pair of black pants, and a black quidditch robe. He grabbed for his broom, and slipped his way out of the boys dorms. Unfortunately this boy when he couldn't sleep, he flew. He snuck passed everyone that might have still be lingering in the common room at this point of time.

James padded passed the fat lady as she slumbered in her portrait. Passed the portraits as he made his way up moving staircases, and yammering old wizards in their portraits about people needing to be asleep. Some mentioning his latest prank, and rewarding him for it being his best prank yet. He smiled and agreed with them. Thanking them as he went on his way. Keeping his eyes peeled for Peeves. Merlin only knew where that ghost would be roaming this early in the morning. His body led him towards the astronomy tower. It seemed to be the popular place to go. There were voices, and James lingered in the shadows pulling at the black quidditch robes. Leveling his body into the corner, just waiting and listening. Hoping to Merlin they weren't any of the professors. He surely didn't want to see something absolutely disgusting. But the banter going back and forth between a pompous fellow and a rather loud lady.

He drifted closer to look on the balcony of the tower to see one person he recognized all to well. There was Lily, she was out for the world to see in her Pajamas. He shook his head, this was kind of priceless, who walked around the castle in PJ's nonetheless. With arrogant little Slytherin prefects stalking the place like wolves looking for prey. Hearing the words Mudblood coming from the Blonde, who he could only assume by the look of the hair happened to be a Malfoy. Why did their hair always look so greasy? The boy shook his head, he didn't think it really mattered. He decided to step out from the shadows and glanced at the girl sitting there with the look of absolute disgust on her face, alright maybe it was disgust, but he'd be looking rather ill himself, if someone like Lucius Malfoy was looking at me like that.

"MALFOY, what are you doing out passed cerfew?" the boy roared, as he came up behind Malfoy and poked him in the shoulder with the tip of his wand. Merlin knew if he touched him with a body part, he might start melting. That or it would slip right off, from being a greasy git. "Alright there Evans, he didn't do anything did he?" he asked as his head shifted lightly to glance at her, even though those dark eyes glared at the boy infront of him over his glasses. Hair still tossled like he'd just got out of bed. Not like James Potter cared what he looked like, he thought the messed up hair was sexy. "Out bothering poor souls at this hour? Didn't you get enough this morning, when you insulted that poor Hufflepuff first year in the dungeons?" he tisked lightly. Malfoy never did understand how to shut his fat gob to begin with. The stag like quailities made it so James snorted once or twice when he was mad.

[lily marie evans]

"Lucky for me I'm not throwing insults randomly. You're scum because you're so smug, Malfoy. That's all that matters." She was beginning to get annoyed, and her fingers itched to curse the boy. Fate seemed to be on Mlafoy's side, however, for Potter appeared at the top of the stairs before Lily's fingers could go for the familiar piece of wood. She rolled her eyes and waited for him to rattle off what sounded like a practiced speech. Really, what had getting that Head Boy badge done to him? He was acting like the bloody savior of the school. Well, not like his presence wasn't welcome.

She had little interest in seeing how far a Slytherin would go, alone in a tower with someone they'd readily kill. Having James here, as bizarrely as he was acting, was better than no one at all. "Well, as much of an asshole as he's being, it is only eleven in the am, and a Saturday, so we can't exactly get him for being out past curfew, now can we?" Not that she would have minded taking more House Points than necessary from the boy. She chuckled to herself, trying to keep her reaction as subtle as possible in front of the Malfoy, at James' snort, thinking of the stag she'd run into just days before. It was interesting how one's view of a person changed when you realized they could transform into an entirely different creature.

"But really, Malfoy, I was here first, your presence is clearly not welcome, so unfortunately for you, you're just going to have to find somewhere else to skulk. Sorry," she said with a shrug, sounding a little too unconcerned to actually be sorry. She turned to James, suddenly feeling off in her pajamas: she hadn't exactly planned on running into anyone, after all. "So then, fellow Head of students, how are you?"