Post by lily on Jul 20, 2011 2:48:39 GMT -5
| [atrb=style,background-image: url('http://www.desktopwallpaperhd.com/wallpapers/27/23276.jpg');,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][cs=2] They'll never understand why I cried for you. |
Dear Diary, I have been neglecting you something awful, haven't I? I'm sorry. I've been so busy lately. Lots of things happened, more of the usual. Classes, head girl junk, all that. I met some new people, Harry Potter and Diana Hunter, more specifically. The latter is a rather friendly girl (blind, although I didn't notice), with an intelligence that I haven't seen in quite a wild. She has a bit of a temper; but, so do I sometimes. She seems to place it upon the right people, too. I promised her that I would help her with her costume for the Masquerade... She's going as an Oracle, you know. Makes my costume seem absolutely lame and idiotic in comparison. The Blacks had their bit of drama... and I got into a really nice conversation with Sirius. He's actually better than I thought, you know. He's a nice guy... makes me wonder why he acts the way he does most of the time. I don't know. He's having girl problems, though. He wants to ask me about them. Like I know something about love. Ugh, Merlin knows how much I fail in that department. There's no mistaking it. I agreed, even though it was stupid of me to do so. But, how could I at least not try to help him? Professor Abaris and Cadmus entered the common room at some point of the night. Cadmus was caught up in trying to keep a kitten away from him, and Abaris seem less than interested in talking to me. Perhaps I'm coming off as too eager? The two of them began to talk together... so I napped. As a note, I dreamed about how I locked myself into the Room of Requirement and just survived there for the duration of my life. It's a rather nice idea, actually. I won't try it though... too social to be a shut-in. When I woke up, most everyone was gone. Diana, Harry, Professor Abaris and I were left at that point. Sirius' love interest, a girl named Em, entered at that point... and I blocked them out so they could have their privacy. I feel so bad for Sirius; but, really, what could I do? I couldn't intervene then. I guess I can hug him later. It'll put it on a list of things to do. During that time, I had another pleasant chat with Professor Abaris... I love talking to teachers. So intellectually stimulating. We had a nice conversation about right and wrong until things got a little too personal... I don't know why; but, something inside of me told me that there was something more familiar about Professor Abaris that I haven't realized yet. It's insane; but, I could have sworn he knew what I was thinking about... He got really uncomfortable, reminded me about my Saturday lesson and left. To which, like a baby (I'm so ashamed of myself!), I gripped onto Harry and cried. I couldn't tell him why though... But I can tell you. Diary... I miss Severus. I miss him desperately. I hate all that has happened; but, what can I do? It's not that I can just accept everything that he's doing. I wish I could tell him why it hurts so bad... how him calling me a Mudblood, and joining that group... how it's just as good as looking at me in the eyes and telling me: "I hate you, Lily Evans, and I want you to die." Gah... I'm getting emotional again. I should sleep. I have an all night patrol tomorrow that I doubt I'll be able to stay up for. I'll stop thinking about this stuff. I have to move on. I *have* to. I don't like wallowing in misery, it never leads to anything productive. So, let's make a list, Lily! Things to do this week: 1. Hug Sirius 2. Help Diana with her costume 3. 4. Get homework done. 5. Practice with Professor Abaris... possibly try to dig deeper into what's going on in his head. 6. Spend time with Harry Yep... sounds like a good to-do list, for a start. Let's keep track of our head, Evans. We can do this. I know we can. We just gotta keep working. -she draws a heart here- `Lily |