where are you now, vivienne

[harrypotter]

Harry Potter had never felt more exhausted in his entire life. Not even after witnessing Voldemort’s return or fighting alongside the Order at the Ministry of Magic and seeing Bellatrix kill Sirius had he felt more tired and worn out. Today had topped all other days, in a completely different, odd sense. Last night, he’d gone to bed in his own day and age. His parents had been dead. He had spent all of yesterday worrying about Voldemort and his rise to power. This morning, he’d woken up to an entirely different world. Suddenly, he was tossed into a different era, his parent’s in particular. Today, he had parents. They were teenagers, yes, but they were there in the flesh and blood. What more could he possibly ask for?

Yet, it wasn’t that simple. He wished he could rush towards them and they would instantly recognize him, pull him into their arms and proclaim how much they had missed him and wished they had seen him grow up. However, they didn’t even know he existed. As far as he knew, his mum still despised his father. To them, Harry was merely a transfer student, along with several others from his time period. The experience was enthralling and heartbreaking at the same time. It was exciting to get a new chance to meet his parents and get to know them, even if they wouldn’t know he was their future child. At the same time, it broke his heart to know that he couldn’t simply tell them who he was and to warn them of what was going to happen in the future. He wanted to protect them, to keep their deaths from happening. But, he knew he mustn’t speak a word. Hermione had made that perfectly clear all day.

To be honest, Harry had no idea why they were in the seventies to begin with. What had happened? All he knew was that several others were there with him, which was quite a relief. If he had been sent back alone, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to contain himself and could have ruined the entire course of the future. After a full day in the different era, he was still no closer to understanding why they had been sent back in time. What purpose did any of this serve, and who had been responsible for their time traveling? Harry couldn’t help feeling it was just some cruel joke sent by fake. The chance to get to know his parents was wonderful, but he could do nothing to save them in the future. Indecisive of his feelings towards the entire event, he hadn’t been able to settle himself all day. Ron and Hermione had wanted to engage in conversation and speculation about their being in the seventies. Harry had been solemn all day, and he had snuck off at the first chance he had gotten.

He hadn’t made it to dinner. He knew he would be able to see everyone, all together. He couldn’t handle that yet. He had seen his parents, separately, throughout the day. It had been enough. He had yet to truly interact with anyone from another era. Dismissing himself from the presence of his best friends, he snuck off towards the towers, desperately needing some time away to think over the entire day. He knew he was just going to sulk and feel miserable. There was clearly no explanation, and if there was one, he doubted he would be able to think of it. Perhaps Hermione would catch onto something. It had only been one day, after all. He knew he needed to give it some time. Sighing as he climbed the steps to the Astronomy Tower, he felt himself moving wearily, truly exhausted by the events of the day.

Finally reaching the top of the tower, he moved towards an open window, emerald eyes looking down across the grounds. Hogwarts had always been beloved to Harry. It held a deep place in his heart, the only home he had ever known. Today, it had been the setting for a living nightmare. He knew he was reacting a bit dramatically. After a few days he was sure he would have warmed up significantly to the idea. But now, he felt only unsure and unhappy. How was he supposed to interact with his parents without telling them he was their child, or that he loved them dearly? Leaning against the stone blocks, he sighed again. What in the world were they going to do about this situation? Not having a single clue, he felt the frustration bubble up deep inside him.

[vivienne]

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i won't cry for you,

Talk about having an off day, would ye`? 'Waking up on the wrong side of the bed' didn't quite cover it either -- not even a little bit, actually. While Vivienne was normally a very patient person and tended to handle stress and complicated situations better than most, she was far from perfection in those areas. The thing was, Vivienne didn't quite know if those same rules of composure held any weight against the situation she'd been thrust into. Opting to stick to what she knew best, Vivienne had carried out her day like she would have any other -- not without difficulty, of course, but who was to blame her. She'd kept her composure through the acts keeping to herself and looking a bit P.O.'d -- though that in itself was really nothing new -- whilst trying to sort out any possible rhyme or reason for her presence being here. While the process of doing so ultimately ended in failure -- Vivienne had had nothing to go off as it came to time traveling and the likes of alternate universes; Merlin, no -- and she may or may not have just whipped out a few insults at anyone unfortunate enough to ask her if she was OK, she was satisfied with the outlook that 'freaking-the-hell-out' had not managed to be apart of her day. In fact, if she was being honest with herself, the idea of 'freaking out' about anything might have disturbed her more than the fact that she had woken up in another decade, but that was her.

...

Despite her priorities... Vivienne was honestly displeased. This was not a joking matter as far as she saw it and Vivienne couldn't have felt more vulnerable and alone. It wasn't that she needed other people and complete familiarity, but she did need control and awareness. Whereas, at this point, Vivienne felt anything but aware. Perhaps the only thing Vivienne felt she could rely on in her life was her surety about things. She knew how she felt about life and where she was going; she knew how she was going to get there and that by working as hard as she did meant she also knew how to discipline herself and move forward productively. Vivienne knew how she felt about things like family, peers, authority, and communicating, and it was a rare thing in itself that she ever had conflicting feelings. But now that she was here, in a position that not only stripped away her sense of knowing and what to expect, but also took away any resource for her to try and sort things out for herself, she didn't know how sure she was about anything -- and that's what bothered her the most. The way Vivienne saw it, people were kidding themselves when they said they believed in ideas like fate. You lie in the bed you make for yourself; that's just the way life works. There's action and then there's effect. But if all of that were true, as Vivienne stands to believe it is, she couldn't help but wonder what action she'd taken to get herself into a mess like this.

However, in spite of how alone this turn of events was making her feel, Vivienne knew that there were others here in the exact same predicament.

Damn it all if she was going to be the one whining and moping about the way things should be.

Vivienne paused mid-step, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. As her lungs regained a sense of rhythm, the seventh year took a quick look around her in an attempt at locating some familiarity. Unaware that she'd been traveling as far as she had, Vivienne had abruptly found herself at the furthest corner of the castle and peering up at the winding stairwell of the Astronomy Tower. In an interesting sort of way, the realization cast some amount of relief over the girl, glad to know that at least some things hadn't changed. Vivienne knew the Astronomy Tower well; so much so that she would frequent the sky-scraping structure more often than other part of the castle -- other than perhaps the Ravenclaw common room. Heights made her feel at ease when nothing else seemed to be able to, so it wasn't all that much of a surprise to Vivienne that she'd caught herself on her way here. She enjoyed looking down at things, and not exactly in the way it sounded, despite what people may think of her. Looking at the world from a high place puts everything into perspective. When she's up high, things that seem big really might not be so extreme, and the world feels a lot closer. Taking steps back can always be beneficial, because being too close can limit the way you interpret things. Having a good perspective can really make all the difference, and Vivienne couldn't help but wonder if it was exactly the thing she needed.

Before she knew it, Vivienne had reached the uppermost steps of the tower; the entrance was within her sight. However, had things gone in her favor, she would have found the tower empty so that she could be alone, but as fate turned out -- wait, no, she hated that word -- it wasn't. Someone else had already set up camp at one of the open windows and seemed to be in deep thought about something or other. Maybe this era wasn't so bad; apparently some people come with the same mindset she does. No matter; as long as he wasn't going to bother her, Vivienne didn't care much about the male's presence. Quietly, she moved toward one of the windows opposite the boy in the room and positioned herself with her back against the wall, while still presenting herself with the opportunity to look down open the window when she turned her head. Vivienne did so for a few moments, noticing the dimming of the light outside and wondering how much of her time all her wandering around had taken. Not that it matter much, she scoffed softly; her plans were obviously not up to her at this point.

Nonchalantly, Vivienne shifted in her spot, head turning up briefly toward the boy's direction in the process. It froze there where she caught a glimpse of his face and recognized it immediately. Vivienne did not know Harry Potter directly, but she had seen him before and, quite obviously, knew of him and everything that he'd done. Maybe they had even spoken once or twice in the past, but that wasn't the point. The point was that a realization had donned on her, and Vivienne silently cursed herself for stressing out earlier while not having thought of this before... Vivienne relaxed a bit into the wall, rolling her icy gaze to look back out the window as she spoke loud enough for him to hear,

"What have you gotten us into this time, Harry Potter..."

words; 1165 - tag; harry - notes; yay, harry potter being accused of things <3 vivi's sorry, really she is.

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