Maybe death would suffice... (((OPEN)))

[ryanharris]

Maybe had Ryan not sat in the Ravenclaw common room all day, he wouldn't feel so bored and alone. He didn't feel like doing anything on this uneventful Saturday, and he didn't plan on it. He rather enjoyed sitting down and playing a guitar, but today he felt... Different, like something was missing from his usual everyday routine. He had his comfortable, preferred outfit on, jeans and a t-shirt, so that couldn't be what was bothering him. Maybe it was the fact he hadn't been to a party since last year, but that could also be because of his anti-sociality.

He decided to dwell on the latter of these posible reasons, and thought about his lack of friends and what he might have to do to get them. He might have to be... Friendly. It wasn't so much a problem as a waste of time, because most people didn't care enough to try to be friendly back to him. He hated the fact that he sometimes seemed like he tried too hard when in reality it was their fault because they kept shutting him down. He actually loved being around people and having fun with them, but he ahd never put himself out there. It might be time to try to get friends and maybe even a girlfriend, but that was pushing it.

As he sat and strummed on the 20-year-old acoustic, he whistled a tune that he had heard from some muggle music, which really wasn't as bad as some magical folk made it out to be. He didn't have a problem with muggles at all, and rather thought some of them to be genius to come up with the things that they had, without even using magic. Having been raised in the muggle world with one muggle parent, which was his dad, he knew much more bout them than most pure-bloods, but he never really bragged about this considering most people in the wizarding world didn't appreciate muggles much.

He looked around the coomon room and saw no one except a cat, sitting on the windowsill and looking at him.

'Lucky.' He thought.

[elvishbanana]

Jo looked out of the window and sighed longingly. She wished more than anything she could be outside, doing the essay in a tree, instead of cooped up inside in Ravenclaw Tower. ”This is pointless,” she snapped, shoving the essay away from her and laying her head down on the table. Her blond hair spilled over the table like some kind of odd potion, the streaks of blue she’d put in her hair in July nearly gone already. Jo groaned, pounding her fist on the table. Piles of books and crumpled bits of parchment lay on the table around her- Jo was not the neatest of the Ravenclaws. The bookshelf on her right was filled with fiction- both of the Muggle and Wizarding varieties. Jo’s favorite mysteries and adventures and romances were on that shelf, along with her collection of Jane Austen novels. The shelf successfully hid her from view, ensuring her privacy, except from the couches around the fireplace and statue of Rowena Ravenclaw. She lifted her head and propped it up on one hand, her chin still only a few inches from the table. With the other she stroked the petals of the fresh sunflowers sitting on her desk, her favorite kind. ”Bet you never had to write a two-roll essay on the uses of moonstones in potion-making, Julius,” she muttered, talking to the picture propped up on her desk. Julius smiled back at her- it was a Muggle photo, so Jo couldn’t see him laughing. Contrary to what most people thought when she mentioned Julius, he was not a boyfriend. Julius was the only thing she could ever remember calling her father. He was one of few people who she allowed to call her “Clementine”, not “Jo” or “Joey”. He’d sent the flowers, as he did every Saturday- a wonderful reminder of home and Julius’s love. Jo sighed again, turning her gaze out the window. She’d picked this desk specifically for the window view- from the small study area, she could glimpse the lake. Jo was a beach baby, but any kind of water was enough to make her smile. Not today, however. Jo leaned back, picking herself off of the table. She stuck her quill in her mouth, sucking on the sugar. With the other hand, she pushed back her hair. It was too hot and stuffy in her corner to leave her hair down. Leaving the quill dangling out of her mouth, Jo used both hands to secure her feathery blond locks into something vaguely resembling a French twist. As a finishing touch, she plucked one of the smaller flowers from the blue glass vase and stuck it behind her ear. Jo looked at herself briefly in the window’s reflection. Tendrils of hair hung down into her face, wisps that made her look as though she’d spent the last few hours outside in the wind- which she would have preferred infinitely to the reality of being shut up inside, working on a boring essay. Jo got up and stretched, pulling her sketchbook and charcoal pencils out of her bag. She strode across the room to the plushy blue couches near the fireplace. Jo flopped down into one, her bare feet propped up on the armrest, her calico sundress mushrooming out around her legs. She flipped the book open to a sketch of the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw and pulled out a pencil. She didn’t have much left to go on the sketch- all it needed was a little more detail work on the shading. Bo-ring, she thought. She felt like starting something new. But what to draw? The little black cat on the window? No, too hard to capture the different shades of black. Jo wrinkled her nose and looked around the room, searching for better subject matter. A boy sitting on one of the other couches caught her eye. She looked at him appraisingly. He was tall, almost a foot taller than she by the looks of him, and dressed, like her, for comfort in jeans and a baggy t-shirt. His dirty blond hair was darker than hers, but messier somehow. He whistled and strummed a guitar, the sound odd, but not unpleasant. Jo flipped her sketchbook open to a new page and set to drawing him. The boy reminded her of the casual guitarists who lounged around the Brighton Pier in the summer, strumming guitars or ukuleles, cases open at their feet in case someone liked what they were doing. It was a pleasant image, one that made her annoyance over the Potions essay almost disappear. She’d finished the outline and had just started in on the guitar when she realized how she must look- a blond artist in a paisley sundress with a sunflower behind her ear, barefoot and staring at a boy she didn’t know every few seconds. Blushing a little, Jo grinned. ”Morning,” she said. ”Mind if I draw you? You remind me of home a little- there’s always a bunch of guitarists hanging around the pier in Brighton. I’m Jo, by the way, Jo Milner.” She sent a sunny smile his way, astonished at how much better she felt just by looking at him. ”Are you one of the transfer students? I haven’t seen you around before, and I know just about everyone, except the first-years and the transfers.”

[ryanharris]

Ryan looked up as he heard paper being thrown and a voice, belonging to a female, exclaim that whatever work she had been working on was pointless. He shook his head and went back to playing guitar. Maybe he should go over and talk to her, and try to get a jump-start on this friend thing. He deliberated on this a moment, and then decided against it. He absentmindedly listened to her move around and mutter something to someone named Julius. He quickly realized that he would have to be sociable when the girl walked over and sat beside him with pencils and a pad of paper.

He realized who it was almost immediately, because he had had his eye on this one since he got here. She was particularly close to his, let's say, dream girl. Tan, blond, not taller than he was. Perfect.

He tried not to notice as she stared at him, and then looked down at the paper, then back up at him. She did this repeatedly. He was about to say something, but she beat him to it. As she started in on the usual "Hi, how are you?'s", he was looking at her eyes and noticed that they were differently colored. He jumped when he realized he had zoned out for a minute.

"What? Oh, sorry... Yes, ma'am, I'm one of the, er.. Exchange students. And your name is Jo? Someone told me your name was Clementine." He said, then added quickly, "Not that I asked or anything.." Sensing that he had made himself awkward, he tried to end his partr of the conversation as quickly as possible and get back to what he was doing. "No, I don't mind if you draw me. It's perfectly all right."

He mentally kicked his own ass for being so... Awkward and weird. He went back to his strumming, not waiting for her to respond.


*OOC* I'm sorry, I don't have the muse for a long-ish post, so it isn't going to bother me if you have short to medium sized posts. Sorry!

[elvishbanana]

The boy stared at her eyes when she spoke to him. It was a little unnerving, but Jo was used to the stares. The different-colored eyes thing usually freaked people out at first. She probably could have changed it with magic, but Jo almost liked the stares, the freaking-people-out.

He jumped a little, his eyes focusing more on her face than her eyes. She smiled.

”What? Oh, sorry… Yes, ma’am, I’m one of the, er… Exchange students. And your name is Jo? Someone told me your name was Clementine. Not that I asked or anything…”

He seemed a little embarrassed. Jo felt the horrible temptation to laugh. The boy was nice enough, and she liked the way he was honest about everything. For that reason, she pardoned his usage of her first name. ”Josephine, or Jo for short, is my middle name,” she explained. ”Nobody calls me Clementine. What’s your name, anyway?”

”No, I don’t mind if you draw me. It’s perfectly all right.”

He turned back to his strumming, seemingly too embarrassed to talk to her much more. Oh no, she thought determinedly. You’re not getting off that easy. She gestured to the guitar with her pencil. ”You’re pretty good with that,” she commented. ”What’re you humming? I don’t recognize it.” This in itself was pretty unremarkable- Jo wasn’t very good at keeping up with the latest music. Not that she didn’t enjoy it; she was just busier with drawing and painting. Still, she knew most of the popular song melodies, if she couldn’t remember the lyrics or artists. The song the boy hummed was completely new to her.

Jo finished the outline of his guitar with a few strokes and started in on his face. He had a nice face, his eyebrows thick and close to his eyes, his nose long and broad. There was something wild in his eyes, something that told her he liked to have a good time and didn’t care much about school. Overall, not a bad-looking guy. Jo was flattered somewhat that he’d asked about her- though he said he hadn’t asked, she got the feeling the boy had been keeping an eye open for her.

[ryanharris]

Ryan frowned and thought, 'Who doesn't know this song?' Then he remembered that this particular song, Sweet Child O' Mine, doesn't come out for another 10 years, and quickly tried to cover up his mistake. Why he felt he had to keep the fact that he and around 40+ more students had somehow traveled back in time a secret, he didn't know, but it felt like the right thing to do. He went over multiple cover-ups in his head such as, 'I wrote it.' But then when the song comes out in 10 years and goes platinum, she will figure it out on her own. He finally looked back up and said,

"I was just humming random things, trying to find something that sounded decent." He smiled. "I like that name. Jo, I mean. Sorry for using your first name." He said, getting the feeling that she didn't like people calling her Clementine. "I am Ryan. Where exactly did you say you were from? Brighton, right? Where is that?"

He immediately regretted asking, because it would surely lead to her asking him the same question, which would be hard to cover-up and even harder to tell the truth. Thinking about it, he didn't have to tell her he was from an orphanage, just somewhere in Ireland.

The fact that he even had to think that he was from an orphanage nearly killed him, and he truly hated the feeling that it gave him. Weird, lonely, forgotten. Three things most people think of when they hear about kids from orphanages or foster care. The problem was, Ryan was only one, or maybe two of the three. Weird and lonely, yes, but definitely not forgotten, or at least he hoped not. It wasn't his parents choice to put him in the orphanage, it was fate's. And it really looked like fate hated him very deeply.

[elvishbanana]

The boy frowned at her question. Jo raised an eyebrow. Didn’t he know what he was humming?

”I was just humming random things, trying to find something that sounded decent.”

He smiled, sending shivers up her spine. He had a nice smile. Jo was slightly skeptical of the words, though. That sounded too… too practiced, she thought. He knows where that song came from, he just doesn’t want to tell me. I wonder why- did he write it or something? Before she could interrogate him further, he spoke again.

”I like that name. Jo, I mean. Sorry for using your first name. I’m Ryan. Where exactly did you say you were from? Brighton, right? Where is that?”

She grinned at him. ”Well, I’ll let you off this time,” she said. The only person allowed to call her Clementine was Julius, and he was only allowed because she couldn’t bear to tell him not to. Her mother had called her Clementine, never Jo, or anything else. Jo had cast aside the name, just as she had cast aside the memory of her mother. There was too much pain in the name, too much regret and anger. Too much vulnerability. She wouldn’t let the world see that vulnerability, that loss she carried with her with her name. And she especially wouldn’t let Ryan see it. For some reason, that was important to her, that he didn’t see her vulnerability.

She blinked, brought back to the present by the guitar. ”It’s by the sea, directly south of London. I’ve got a little apartment by the beach with my dad. You ever been to the beach? I’m talking the ocean, here, not that sad little lake outside,” she joked, pointing her thumb out the window.

The blond girl fixed her eyes on his hazel ones, unable to keep the smile from reaching her eyes. For all he was an exchange and had called her Clementine, she liked Ryan. Jo had a thing for boys with hazel eyes. Black hair, too, but she found herself liking Ryan’s dark blond locks. Jo’s gaze went from his hazel eyes to his mouth briefly and then back up. She bit her lip a little. God, he was cute. But there was something… off, something strange. The transfers were all like that, a little different. Not that it was a bad thing, but when they all shared the same reluctance to share their pasts, Jo started getting a little suspicious.

Jo narrowed her eyes at him, thinking. She put her pencil and sketchbook aside and leaned closer to him, different-colored eyes not leaving his face. ”You know that song from somewhere,” she said. ”You didn’t just make it up, you heard it somewhere.” It was not a question. ”Just where are you exchange kids from, anyway?” The words were steely, demanding a truthful answer, but her tone was not unkind. Jo reached out and caught the hand strumming his guitar, holding it still. She raised an eyebrow, a silent message crossing her face; she was not going to let go until she got an answer.

[ryanharris]

Ryan laughed and said,

"Good, you're not mad at me yet!" He laughed and continued strumming one solid, rhythmic beat, not really trying to play anything special.
Ryan watched her face as she talked, and was taken aback a little. She kind of reminded him of a distant cousin, one that he hadn't talked to since he had been... Moved. He looked up and answered the first of her questions.

"I've been to a beach, not sure where it was, but I know I've been to one. I particularly enjoy life on the beach." He smiled, and looked back down. "And yeah, it was the real ocean. The salt water got on my nerves after a while though."

He watched her as she stared deep into his eyes, and couldn't look away. It was as if he were petrified. She had one of those, I'm-In-Command type faces, as if she wouldn't take crap from anyone. It was scary, but beautiful. Ryan gave up trying to ignore her stare and accepted it whole-heartedly, basking in it.
As she asked the last of her questions, he began to panic. 'What will I say?' He thought. He shook his head, trying to come up with an explanation, and let his hand go limp when she grabbed it. He looked away, and then back at her, and then spoke.

"We're from. . . Uh.. Britain. Not too far from here, actually. It's a school, but no one is supposed to know about it, except for the students and staff from there. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, so don't tell anyone you know." He turned and grimaced, hating the lies being told.

"The song, it's from a band in the local scene, back in Ireland. What I was humming wasn't the exact tune and rhythm of the song, but it was close to it." He frowned.

"You don't play any instruments, do you?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

[elvishbanana]

”Good, you’re not mad at me yet!”

Ryan laughed as he said it, fingers automatically strumming the guitar. She winked at him. ”Well, not yet,” she said. Jo spoke lightheartedly, though she couldn’t shake the satisfaction she got from knowing he was watching her face when she talked.

”I’ve been to a beach, not sure where it was, but I know I’ve been to one. I particularly enjoy life on the beach. And yeah, it was the real ocean. The salt water got on my nerves after a while though.”

Jo wrinkled her nose when she smiled. ”I love the ocean. It’s so wild, so uncontrollable. And underneath the surface, there’s so much going on,” she said excitedly. ”There’s so much life,” she said. ”Why does the salt water bother you?”

Her stare didn’t seem to bother him at all. Quite the contrary- she got the feeling he almost enjoyed having her look at him that way. Jo’s last question, however, broke the odd spell. He shook his head, not resisting when she took his hand. Ryan looked away from her, and Jo frowned a little. What’s bothering him so much? It’s a simple question, or it ought to be. There’s something so strange about these transfers.

”We’re from… uh… Britain. Not too far from here, actually. It’s a school, but no one is supposed to know about it, except for the students and staff from there. I’m not supposed to tell anyone, so don’t tell anyone you know.”

Jo let go of his hand, but not the subject. Why did they all leave, then? she wondered. And if this school is so close to Hogwarts and no one here knows about it, what kind of magic must be on the school? It could be in the Forbidden Forest, which would be half of the reason it’s forbidden, but if that’s true, why couldn’t they all just come here? She caught the grimace on his face and knew he wasn’t telling her everything.

”The song, it’s from a band in the local scene, back in Ireland. What I was humming wasn’t the exact tune and rhythm of the song, but it was close to it. You don’t play any instruments, do you?”

Jo frowned. If the song was really from an Irish band, why hadn’t he just said so in the first place? Ryan was hiding something, she knew it. But she’d only known him for a while- it didn’t seem quite fair to demand all of his secrets. Yet.

Jo shook her head at his question. ”No musical ones. I do a lot of drawing and painting, though. You’re welcome to take a look, if you like,” she offered, gesturing at her sketchbook. ”So I guess the answer is no, I don’t. I wouldn’t mind learning, though,” she said absentmindedly.

[ryanharris]

Ryan thought for a moment, and then answered her question.

"Salt water makes my skin dry up, and I hate the taste of it. It just annoys me. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack from all the cholestoral." He laughed.
Ryan watched the look on her face after he finished giving his explanations. He couldn't read faces that well, so it was hard for him to see what she was thinking, or how she was responding to his story. He hinted suspicion, but didn't let it phase him, and tried his best not to show any signs that he was being untruthful. He was glad that she hadn't dodged his last question, and now he could move past the previous subject.

He listened to her speak, and put his guitar down in a corner.

"That's too bad. I play drums and a little guitar. I wish I could sing, but it sounds awful." He laughed. "But I guess that's what the lead singer is for. So, what kind of drawings do you do?"

He picked up the sketch book she had laid down, opened it and saw what might have been the best drawing of Rowena Ravenclaw he had ever seen. He couldn't believe she was so talented.

"This is amazing. You drew this? It's beautiful." He said, and laughed. He put the book down and looked around, searching for his orange cat, Gus. After a minute or two, he gave up the search, assuming he was in the dormitory upstairs. He looked back to Jo, and watched her eyes move about.

[elvishbanana]

”Salt water makes my skin dry up, and I hate the taste of it. It just annoys me. I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack from all the cholestoral.”

Ryan laughed, and Jo smiled at him. ”I know what you mean. Love the smell, hate the taste. Did you know that drinking salt water makes you throw up? I used to use it whenever I wanted a day off, back in primary school, but with Madam Pomfrey, I haven’t even tried.” She grinned at him. Ryan put his guitar down, reading her face. Jo wondered what he saw.

”That’s too bad. I play drums and a little guitar. I wish I could sing, but it wounds awful. But I guess that’s what the lead singer is for. So, what kind of drawings do you do?”

’Oh no,” she laughed, nose crinkling. ”You’re not changing the subject on me that easy. Come on- you say you can play ‘a little’ guitar, and meanwhile I’ve been listening to you for the past hour, and, well... So pardon me if I’m not so sure about your so-called horrible singing.” Jo meant every word- she had seen his skill with the guitar firsthand. Ryan reached for the sketchbook she had set off to one side, flipping through her work. It was an odd collection- vague, fuzzy shapes like what she had seen in a Foe-Glass in Knockturn Alley, and on the next page, the detailed petals of a sunflower. Ryan opened to the picture of Rowena Ravenclaw’s statue. Jo was particularly proud of that one- the shading had taken her nearly three days to perfect.

”This is amazing. You drew this? It’s beautiful.”

He laughed and put the book back down. Jo beamed at the praise. ”Really? You think so?” she asked. ”I’ve been drawing for years, ever since my mother-”

Sudden realization of what she had been about to say hit her. She closed her eyes, trying hard to mask the pain that came with thoughts of her mum. Jo hadn’t let anyone call her Clementine except her father after Tara died. Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, Jo looked down. Just as the silence between the two of them began to feel uncomfortable, a mewl from below her made Jo look down. An orange paw batted her ankle. She leaned over, blond hair falling over her shoulders and brushing the floor.

”Well, hello there,” she said brightly. ”Aren’t you pretty!” Jo reached underneath the couch and pulled out a ginger cat. She sat him in her lap, stroking him and calling him handsome. Relieved to have something to break the awkward silence, Jo rubbed his ears. ”But where’s your person?” she asked him.

[ryanharris]

Ryan laughed, and felt... Better, now that someon actually gave him a compliment for once besides vice versa.

"About the guitar, well you obviously haven't see professioonal guitarists play. See, I'm more of a drummer myself. I'm alot better at that. And my singing, well I'd rather not prove my point on that."

Ryan laughed, and saw she was disbelieving about his amazement in her work as an artist.

"Actually, I do think it's really good. How do you get it to look so-" He cut off, when he realized what she had almost said. He thought about the possibilities of what she could've said on the end of that sentence, but one kept popping out in his mind. Her mom was dead, like his own. He tried to clear his mind but the thought wouldn't leave him. He started to speak, and then caught himself.

'It's none of your business' He thought.

He saw his cat, Gus walk up under the chair she was sitting on, and didn't think anything of it until he hit her leg. When she picked him up, he smiled.

"That would be mine. Sorry if he bothers you, he's rather friendly."

[elvishbanana]

Ryan laughed, seemingly surprised by her compliment. Jo wondered if he received many, guessing that perhaps, he was one of the people who gave more often than he received praise. She glowed inside, happy that she could have given him rare admiration.

"About the guitar, well you obviously haven’t seen professional guitarists play. See, I’m more of a drummer myself. I’m a lot better at that. And my singing, well I’d rather not prove my point on that.”

She nodded. ”Well, if you have a pair of drumsticks lying around here, I wouldn’t mind listening,” she said lightly. If you want to, that is. I believe you’re good at it- but I wouldn’t mind seeing how good.”

When he talked about her work, it made her feel like the sunflower precariously in her hair. She beamed. But when he cut off after she did, she realized in one instant; he knows. Jo bit her lip. Should I tell him? she wondered. Can I trust this person enough to let off a piece of my armor? There weren’t many people she trusted to that extent. She could have counted them on two fingers. The names came easily enough- Kingsley and Julius. The only ones who even knew her mother was dead, unless you counted Dumbledore, who probably knew everything. For the past five years, she hadn’t even considered the possibility of telling anyone- but the feeling coming from Ryan was different. He felt… safe, reliable. He felt like someone who wouldn’t think her weak for regretting the past.

The ginger paw against her leg offered relief from the dilemma.

”That would be mine. Sorry if he bothers you, he’s rather friendly.”

”No, he’s very sweet,” she assured him, grinning. ”What’s his name?” Jo wrapped an arm around the auburn cat and put him down on Ryan’s lap. ”He looks like you,” she said quietly. ”I mean, not the coloring or anything- and you don’t, you know, look like a cat- but he has the same air that you do. He’s one of those cats you trust the minute you see them, the ones you just want to pick up and carry around with you all day.”

Jo flushed, remembering that she had been speaking aloud. She laughed a little, embarrassed. I trust him, she thought. I really do. Enough to let him see me cry? Maybe not. Enough to tell him about Mum? Maybe. And that last meeting with her, that last time I saw her, definitely not. Not even Julius knows about that, and Kingsley doesn’t know much more than the fact that he’s dead. No, I can’t tell him- or anybody, because then I’d have to explain about the nightmares. Jo had nightmares about her last conversation with her mother every month or so, and once a week at exam times. They always left her sweating, shaking, tangled in her sheets, and unable to sleep for the rest of the night. It was half of the reason she never went as far as some of the other sixth-year girls when it came to boys. Jo was always terrified that she’d have a nightmare and have to explain herself. The possibility of telling Ryan the truth was as petrifying as it was tempting, and Jo didn’t know what to do. She wished he would ask- it would make the telling so much easier if she didn’t have to volunteer it…

[ryanharris]

Ryan looked up from the cat as she spoke again.

"No, I don't have any down here. Some in the dormitory, and I made my drum set shrink, but I can't seem to remember where I put it. Quite a strange thing to lose, isn't it?"He said, then looked at the cat as she sat it down in his lap. "Well, this is Gus. And if I weighed a little less, you might be able to carry me around. Since you seem to want to and all." He laughed.

Ryan smiled, then frowned as she went silent. He knew, or at least thought he knew, what had happened. He didn't blame her for not wanting to talk about it, but she might need to talk about it, kind of like... Venting.

"It's okay if you've lost someone. I know the feeling because I've lost someone, too. Three someones, actually. So, yeah, I would say I knew. Do you want to talk about it, or...?" He asked, afraid he might be coming on too strong, and apprehensive of what she might say to him about it.

[elvishbanana]

”No, I don’t have any down here. Some in the dormitory, and I made my drum set shrink, but I can’t seem to remember where I put it. Quite a strange thing to lose, isn’t it?”

Jo smiled. ”Strangest thing I’ve heard. Have you tried Accio? That always works for me.”
Ryan looked down at the cat. Now that she knew they belonged to one another, she could tell. The cat curled up and purred loudly, the sound more akin to a lawn mower than a purr. Jo’s smile widened a little.

Well, this is Gus. And if I weighed a little less, you might be able to carry me around Since you seem to want to and all.”

Jo reddened, biting her lip as he laughed. What am I supposed to say to that? she wondered. Had she been that obvious about thinking he was good-looking? Well, um… I…” she started, unsure of how to react. ”I mean, uh, I’d have trouble fitting you in my bag, wouldn’t I?” she asked, trying to make a joke out of it. This was possibly the oddest reaction to flirting she’d gotten at Hogwarts. For the most part, boys just kept hinting at things, without actually coming out and saying ”Oh, by the way, I know you’re interested in me.” Jo tilted her head to one side. Maybe it was the differences that made her like Ryan.

He frowned a little as she stopped talking. Does he want me to keep talking, or is he just mad at what I’ve been saying? she wondered. Jo felt frustrated. Normally she could always tell what boys were thinking, but Ryan was… different. Wildly so. When he finally spoke again, his tone was not at all what she’d expected. It was quieter, kinder.

”It’s okay if you’ve lost someone. I know the feeling because I’ve lost someone, too. Three someones, actually. So, yeah, I would say I knew. Do you want to talk about it, or…?”

Jo pulled the sunflower out of her hair and held it in her lap, twirling it around a little as she considered what to say. This was it. This was the moment when she either clammed up and kept her armor on, or trusted her instincts. If she didn’t tell him anything, she knew she would have lost a friend, and a chance to talk about what had happened. But if she did, if she let go of control just this once, how many other times would she do the same? If she continued to trust people she’d just met without any cause, eventually the whole school would see her for the lying, faking pretender she was. Could she dare to take the risk? Jo swallowed and looked back up at Ryan, looking right into his eyes. She wished she could see if she could trust him. But she couldn’t- if she decided to tell him about her mother, it would be a complete leap of faith. Jo took a deep breath. Then she made her choice.

”My… my mother. She died when I was really young, only seven. She and my dad are the only ones who called me Clementine- whenever someone calls me that, I can’t help but think of her. I guess you know what that’s like- like something you shared with someone once is always part of them.”

She took another breath. It was difficult to get the words out- she hadn’t dared to say them in so long. ”Still, it can’t be as bad as losing three people. Were… were they your family?” she asked quietly.

[ryanharris]

Ryan smiled, and looked up from the cat to Jo, and then back down to it. He pet it's head, and listened to it purr.

"Well, I've never actually tried to use Accio on anything. I don't lose much." He said, after he looked up from the cat again.

He watched as she reddened, and felt bad that he had put her on the spot, even though it was unintentional.He listened to her failed attempt to make a joke from it, and frowned. He had just messed up, and rather badly at that. She tilted her head, and he knew she was confused by him. He didn't know what to think.

They both stopped talking after Ryan asked about her lost someone, and Ryan thought she was going to tell him off for not minding his own business. She looked like she was deliberating in her head, and finally she spoke.

When she finished, Ryan felt terrible. She had lost her mother, like him, but unlike him, she probably still had a father, and maybe a sibling. He frowned, and shook hid head, as if trying to scare off tears. When she asked about him, it was almost impossible to hide his pain.

"Yeah. Yeah they were." He said. "My mum, dad and brother. My brother was just a baby. Some disease took them all out. My parents died first, and when my brother and I got sent to the orpha-" He looked up, realizing he had almost killed himself. He quickly made a recovery. "......Ireland, he died soon after, from the same disease. The doctors didn't know how I survived it, and not caught it." He said, and then looked back at his cat, not looking up again.